Month: June 2018

I’ll Tell You What The Fucking Fox Says!

It screams. It runs down the fucking street, screaming it’s horny laments at 12:46 in the morning and wakes you up out of a dead, artificially-induced sleep. Not a nice wake up either. More like the waking screams of the Banshee before they come for what’s left of your soul. That’s what the fucking fox says. That right there. Fucker just got up and started yelling. “Everyone else be fucking damned,” said the fox, “I need to get my rocks off and tell the world about my dysfunction!”

Ylvis, you motherfuckers, you lied…

So now that I’m up, I’m going to wake up the flesh hopping, skin crawler known as Avol and see what he’s got for me. And I will either accept his suggestions for fear of him slipping out of my head and peeling the ink from my own skin, or I’ll ignore him and remind him who his god is (me, obviously) and tell him this is how it is and he’ll peel the flesh from my bones anyway. It’s a win/win situation either way you slice it.